We've all done it. Made up a story in our head about why our baby(ies) died. Let me be clear; I'm NOT referring to those situations where a physician told you something specific contributed to your loss (e.g., chromosomal issue, something causing issues with implantation, etc.). I'm talking about those losses that have no clear… Continue reading The Blame Game… and why it’s trash
Welp! We’re in a pandemic. Can you believe it?! It all seems so surreal sometimes… things seem normal-ish, but then weird asf the moment you step outside your home. I know a lot of people had high hopes for 2020. Maybe you were hoping for a reset of some sort; a new way of ushering… Continue reading Shifting Ground: Finding Footing in Times of Uncertainty
In January of 2017, I was beginning my IVF journey. I hoped it would work. It was my first try, I was scared of all the needles to come, and slowly trying to forget about all the money we just dropped on the hope of creating family. January 2020... three years later, I am a… Continue reading The Journal That Saved Me
Let me tell y'all something; BAM's are out here doing AMAZING THINGS!!! Losing a child is a horrible experience that often is unparalleled in terms of the amount of pain it causes. In the face of that pain, we are out here creating, continuing to live, working, supporting, processing, and healing. For this 4th week… Continue reading #BAMsCreate2019: BAM Sasha
No one seems to understand. No one cares about my experience. No one, not even my partner or family, feels the depth of this pain. The world just keeps on spinning. Everyone just keeps on living… yet I’m stuck feeling like I’m screaming in the dark and no one can hear me. Does this sound… Continue reading Solo Dolo: Feeling Alone in Grief
Two years ago, today, I was admitted to the hospital knowing it would be the first time I met my daughters, and the last time I would see them. Two years ago, today, I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life and honestly, my heart is still on the mend from that experience. I wish… Continue reading Two Years Ago, Today…
Whhhheeeewwwwwww!!! *wipes forehead* We made it! We made it through Mother’s Day! A day we may have dreaded, may have prepared for, or may have had some really unexpected things come up for us; but we made it! Pat yourself on the back because you deserve it! So…. anybody else have an emotional hangover after… Continue reading Mother’s Day Hangovers: Yup, They’re a Thing…
𝅘𝅥𝅰𝅘𝅥𝅰 JOY!!! And pain Are like Sunshine!!! And rain JOY!!! And pain Are like Sunshine and rain 𝅘𝅥𝅰𝅘𝅥𝅰 If you didn’t start singing along w/ the Maze featuring Frankie Beverly version OR the Rob Base version, we can’t be friends! *Abrupt change of energy starting… now* I recently had the experience of shopping for my… Continue reading The Intersection of Joy X Pain
Have you ever noticed how OBSESSED people are with babies? I mean really, think about it for a sec… People will speak to a baby before they speak to that kid’s parent. They will ask you when you’re going to have children if you’re partnered and why you haven’t “settled down to have some kids… Continue reading Everybody Wants to Talk About the Baby… Until They Don’t
Photo by @Artsy_Solomon_Films Can we all do each other a favor? Can we all take a break from trying to maintain this super-person status where we don’t feel things deeply, don’t get overwhelmed, don’t struggle, don’t feel like everything is just too damn much? Can we have a moment of honesty and transparency where we… Continue reading #NormalizeBreakdowns
