We've all done it. Made up a story in our head about why our baby(ies) died. Let me be clear; I'm NOT referring to those situations where a physician told you something specific contributed to your loss (e.g., chromosomal issue, something causing issues with implantation, etc.). I'm talking about those losses that have no clear… Continue reading The Blame Game… and why it’s trash
Tag: black mothers
What do I say to the one’s that lived..?
Photo by: ChildrenNatureNetwork Recently I've been in several discussions with loss parents about navigating healing in the entire family. The process of healing after loss is layered, nuanced, and varied. You're dealing with 1) your own healing, 2) any potential partner's healing, 3) reintegration into family & friend-life, 4) and figuring out how to talk… Continue reading What do I say to the one’s that lived..?
Mother’s Day Moxie
photo by: Dazzle-Jam. SO much power in this photo! Moxie! Last weekend was International Bereaved Mother’s Day. A time to honor the identity of “mother” that so many loss moms/angel moms want to claim, but from which they feel barred. Such is the nature of what is commonly known as disenfranchised loss. Losses like these… Continue reading Mother’s Day Moxie
Decision Point: I got time TODAY!
Photo by: @Khaparazzi I’ve got a story for y’all… So a few weekends back, my spouse, myself, and our son are by our pool grilling. It’s Memorial Day weekend so lots of folx are out enjoying the weather and water. I’m minding my business, getting my grill-master on and feeling pretty damn proud of myself… Continue reading Decision Point: I got time TODAY!
Two Years Ago, Today…
Two years ago, today, I was admitted to the hospital knowing it would be the first time I met my daughters, and the last time I would see them. Two years ago, today, I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life and honestly, my heart is still on the mend from that experience. I wish… Continue reading Two Years Ago, Today…
This is What (Bereaved) Motherhood Looks Like
When I was younger, I had all kinds of ideas about what kind of mother I wanted to, and was going to be. Largely, this was modeled after my own mother’s way of mothering me, but it was also a commitment I had to showing up for little life (or lives) I created in all… Continue reading This is What (Bereaved) Motherhood Looks Like
Lemme Check… Yup! Still Hard
Photo by: @CRF.pics (IG) How much time is “enough time” for a person to be “over” their loss? How many of you have been asked if you’re STILL having a hard time since your loss? I’m grateful that question doesn’t usually come in my direction anymore (probably because I’m a little feisty. *shrugs* blame it… Continue reading Lemme Check… Yup! Still Hard
The Intersection of Joy X Pain
𝅘𝅥𝅰𝅘𝅥𝅰 JOY!!! And pain Are like Sunshine!!! And rain JOY!!! And pain Are like Sunshine and rain 𝅘𝅥𝅰𝅘𝅥𝅰 If you didn’t start singing along w/ the Maze featuring Frankie Beverly version OR the Rob Base version, we can’t be friends! *Abrupt change of energy starting… now* I recently had the experience of shopping for my… Continue reading The Intersection of Joy X Pain
Everybody Wants to Talk About the Baby… Until They Don’t
Have you ever noticed how OBSESSED people are with babies? I mean really, think about it for a sec… People will speak to a baby before they speak to that kid’s parent. They will ask you when you’re going to have children if you’re partnered and why you haven’t “settled down to have some kids… Continue reading Everybody Wants to Talk About the Baby… Until They Don’t
Photo by @Artsy_Solomon_Films Can we all do each other a favor? Can we all take a break from trying to maintain this super-person status where we don’t feel things deeply, don’t get overwhelmed, don’t struggle, don’t feel like everything is just too damn much? Can we have a moment of honesty and transparency where we… Continue reading #NormalizeBreakdowns