We've all done it. Made up a story in our head about why our baby(ies) died. Let me be clear; I'm NOT referring to those situations where a physician told you something specific contributed to your loss (e.g., chromosomal issue, something causing issues with implantation, etc.). I'm talking about those losses that have no clear… Continue reading The Blame Game… and why it’s trash
Photo by: ChildrenNatureNetwork Recently I've been in several discussions with loss parents about navigating healing in the entire family. The process of healing after loss is layered, nuanced, and varied. You're dealing with 1) your own healing, 2) any potential partner's healing, 3) reintegration into family & friend-life, 4) and figuring out how to talk… Continue reading What do I say to the one’s that lived..?
It's October again. Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Awareness Month is well underway, and PAIL Awareness Week is happening as we speak! Where did this year go?! Every year, I like to do something specific in addition to the wave of light (happening 10/15/20), any remembrance walks, and my usual candle lighting. The first year,… Continue reading Love Notes For You
photo by: Dazzle-Jam. SO much power in this photo! Moxie! Last weekend was International Bereaved Mother’s Day. A time to honor the identity of “mother” that so many loss moms/angel moms want to claim, but from which they feel barred. Such is the nature of what is commonly known as disenfranchised loss. Losses like these… Continue reading Mother’s Day Moxie
Welp! We’re in a pandemic. Can you believe it?! It all seems so surreal sometimes… things seem normal-ish, but then weird asf the moment you step outside your home. I know a lot of people had high hopes for 2020. Maybe you were hoping for a reset of some sort; a new way of ushering… Continue reading Shifting Ground: Finding Footing in Times of Uncertainty
No one seems to understand. No one cares about my experience. No one, not even my partner or family, feels the depth of this pain. The world just keeps on spinning. Everyone just keeps on living… yet I’m stuck feeling like I’m screaming in the dark and no one can hear me. Does this sound… Continue reading Solo Dolo: Feeling Alone in Grief
Photo by: @Khaparazzi I’ve got a story for y’all… So a few weekends back, my spouse, myself, and our son are by our pool grilling. It’s Memorial Day weekend so lots of folx are out enjoying the weather and water. I’m minding my business, getting my grill-master on and feeling pretty damn proud of myself… Continue reading Decision Point: I got time TODAY!
Two years ago, today, I was admitted to the hospital knowing it would be the first time I met my daughters, and the last time I would see them. Two years ago, today, I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life and honestly, my heart is still on the mend from that experience. I wish… Continue reading Two Years Ago, Today…
Whhhheeeewwwwwww!!! *wipes forehead* We made it! We made it through Mother’s Day! A day we may have dreaded, may have prepared for, or may have had some really unexpected things come up for us; but we made it! Pat yourself on the back because you deserve it! So…. anybody else have an emotional hangover after… Continue reading Mother’s Day Hangovers: Yup, They’re a Thing…
When I was younger, I had all kinds of ideas about what kind of mother I wanted to, and was going to be. Largely, this was modeled after my own mother’s way of mothering me, but it was also a commitment I had to showing up for little life (or lives) I created in all… Continue reading This is What (Bereaved) Motherhood Looks Like