Some days, the hardest thing I have to do is wake up without you. I look at my belly and see an empty space where you should have been. I look in my eyes and see a glassy surface with no sparkle You were the twinkle that lived there. For four months, you lit up… Continue reading Some Days
Journey circa 2013 If someone had told me when I was 18 that at 35, I’d be starting a blog about perinatal loss from the black woman’s perspective, I likely wouldn’t have believed them. In my mind, I was going to be married & pregnant by the time I was 24. If someone had told… Continue reading Somebody Shoulda Said Sumthin’
“This group has never been for us… it’s been for our grief...not for us.” Privilege is a hot topic nowadays. Most of us have some sort of privilege even if we don’t want to recognize it. There’s racial or ethnic privilege, educational privilege, skin tone privilege, hair texture privilege, financial privilege, age privilege, physical ability… Continue reading The Audacity of… Pregnancy?
When people hear “fertility treatment” or that someone is going to a “fertility doctor” they usually think of two things: low sperm counts and IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). Though those can be part of fertility treatments, not everyone has those issues or requires that level of intervention. I tell you, my wife and I learned… Continue reading 7 Things you Should Know About Fertility Treatments
I've been thinking a lot about the experience of angel mom's and the intense feelings of sadness and guilt that accompany the loss of our babies. One thing I consistently struggle with is the fact that I couldn't save my babies. I couldn't protect them from what ultimately happened to them no matter how hard… Continue reading When Nubia Fails…
*Admittedly I wrote this the day her photos broke the internet. I'm not as angry/jealous about this as I was...kinda...* Yeah I said it. Ok hear me out before the dragging commences. Of course I don’t mean it the way it sounds but I’m angry. She’s taking beautiful pictures with her full belly, Africa-themed attire,… Continue reading Fu*k Beyonce
We mourn your loss We mourn your life The life you didn’t get to fully live The life we never got to witness you having We mourn our love The love that has no place to go The love that’s built up in our chests so much it hurts We mourn today Because today has… Continue reading We Mourn
I’m going to tell you a secret… *whispers* partners grieve too. Oh, is that not a secret to you? It’s not to me either but too often, people act like the other parent doesn’t feel as much as the person who was physically pregnant. People sometimes think the other parent wasn’t as invested, didn’t have… Continue reading Are They Asking About You or Are They Asking You About Her..?
I’ve been thinking a lot about why angel mom’s are so sensitive about the possibility of their little angels being forgotten. I was trying to figure out what the difference was between our angel babies and other older loved ones who have passed on and I came to the realization that it is literally, life.… Continue reading Sensitivity Around the Forgotten
Perinatal loss is challenging both for the people directly experiencing it and for the people closest to them. For others, though it’s sad, it’s also awkward. People often seem to struggle with what to say and when to say it or what to do and when to do it. Sure, there are your exceptions. Those… Continue reading The “Silent Sadness”… While Black
Black Angel Mom 