“Don’t talk about it”, “that’s too sad”, “keep that to yourself… you’ll have another baby”, “people don’t want to hear that”, “why are you telling your business”, “you’re not actually a mom yet”, “yeah that happened to me too but you just don’t talk about those things”... These are some of the shitty things people… Continue reading 7 Reasons You Should Acknowledge Your Angel Babies
Category: Trauma of it all
The Audacity of… Pregnancy?
“This group has never been for us… it’s been for our grief...not for us.” Privilege is a hot topic nowadays. Most of us have some sort of privilege even if we don’t want to recognize it. There’s racial or ethnic privilege, educational privilege, skin tone privilege, hair texture privilege, financial privilege, age privilege, physical ability… Continue reading The Audacity of… Pregnancy?
Waiting for Rainbows
When you’re trying to get pregnant whether using fertility treatments or not, you’re usually familiar with “the wait”. It’s the period of time between when you last had unprotected sex or your insemination and the earliest date you can test. This varies a little bit depending on if you’re taking an OTC pregnancy test or… Continue reading Waiting for Rainbows
When Nubia Fails…
I've been thinking a lot about the experience of angel mom's and the intense feelings of sadness and guilt that accompany the loss of our babies. One thing I consistently struggle with is the fact that I couldn't save my babies. I couldn't protect them from what ultimately happened to them no matter how hard… Continue reading When Nubia Fails…
Fu*k Beyonce
*Admittedly I wrote this the day her photos broke the internet. I'm not as angry/jealous about this as I was...kinda...* Yeah I said it. Ok hear me out before the dragging commences. Of course I don’t mean it the way it sounds but I’m angry. She’s taking beautiful pictures with her full belly, Africa-themed attire,… Continue reading Fu*k Beyonce
We Mourn
We mourn your loss We mourn your life The life you didn’t get to fully live The life we never got to witness you having We mourn our love The love that has no place to go The love that’s built up in our chests so much it hurts We mourn today Because today has… Continue reading We Mourn
Are They Asking About You or Are They Asking You About Her..?
I’m going to tell you a secret… *whispers* partners grieve too. Oh, is that not a secret to you? It’s not to me either but too often, people act like the other parent doesn’t feel as much as the person who was physically pregnant. People sometimes think the other parent wasn’t as invested, didn’t have… Continue reading Are They Asking About You or Are They Asking You About Her..?
Stages of Grief: 80’s Version
Kubler-Ross (1969) first addressed grief & loss as a series of stages one goes through to ultimately cope with the loss of a loved one. Generally five stages have been identified: denial & isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Some people think these stages are linear meaning you go from one to the next in… Continue reading Stages of Grief: 80’s Version
Grief Bursts… They’re a Thing
When the wife & I attended our first grief support group after losing our daughters, we were really looking forward to it. We knew that we needed the support and in some strange way, hoped it would actually make us feel better. I say that’s “strange” because honestly, nothing makes you feel “better”. In fact,… Continue reading Grief Bursts… They’re a Thing
Sensitivity Around the Forgotten
I’ve been thinking a lot about why angel mom’s are so sensitive about the possibility of their little angels being forgotten. I was trying to figure out what the difference was between our angel babies and other older loved ones who have passed on and I came to the realization that it is literally, life.… Continue reading Sensitivity Around the Forgotten
Black Angel Mom 