7 Gems - You're Welcome, Laugh through the pain, Trying to figure this all out

How’s that working for you…?

Guess who’s bizzack!!! Hey booskies! So its it’s been a MINUTE since my last post. Life is “lifing” as usual and I have gotten sidetracked trying to stay afloat.  Been thinking a lot about reflection and how I’m putting my own suggestions/recs into practice. I asked myself, “how’s that working for you?” I figured I’d put together a short 7-gem-er for you so check it out below =).

Things I’ve learned since June 2017:

  1. I’m much stronger than I thought I was.
    • Seriously sometimes I’m shocked that I’m still here and made it through THE worst time of my life. 
  2. I’m much more stuck/affected than I thought I would be.
    • Even though I’ve realized I’m resilient AF!, I still recognize my hang-ups and places where I have much more healing to do. That’s the work though, right? It doesn’t just end when you want it to. You don’t all of a sudden show up healed at a prescribed time and place. It takes time and work and energy and relearning and readjusting and all the things!
  3. I never have a conversation about my children without honoring & acknowledging Aviva & Jora.
    • I know this is controversial for some people. Honestly, do whatever works for you. No judgement. For me though, there is never a time where I don’t respond to the question of, “is this your first?” with, “my first living…” or “no, I had twins a year ago but they passed away”. Call it TMI, call it oversharing, call it whatever you want. That’s my process so that’s what I say.
  4. I glorify “busy” sometimes and use it as a distraction from the work of healing
    • It’s MUCH easier to occupy your time with busy work than it is to do the healing work sometimes. There are times when healing work is just plain painful and frankly there are times when nobody has time for that. So I’ve always got “stuff” to do and I’m well aware that sometimes that is just plain avoidance.
  5. Connecting & connecting with other Black angel parents is my soul work
    • THIS!!! This work feeds my soul and I’m so happy you’re here, reading this. I’m so happy you found it. Connect with me, connect with the closed FB group. There is more to come.  
  6. I need to make time for dancing & movement as healing work again
    • The other day I just busted out into a full out twerk session in my house while listening to music. When I tell you I got my ENTIRE LIFE from that!!!    It reminded me how much movement is connected to healing for me and that I need to be consistent in practicing what I preach in this area. I’m slacking.
  7. Honoring the girls isn’t specifically tied to one thing and I’m learning to be kinder to myself as I expand their legacy
    • I struggled a lot with my little hiatus from blogging. I felt like I was dishonoring them in some way even though I know there’s SO much happening behind the scenes that IS honoring them. I had to say, “self, chill out. You’re doing the work and they see you! Footprints on everything!”

So that’s how things have been working for me. I’m walking this journey, it isn’t always easy or fun or even purposeful all the time. Some days I’m just here and getting through the day is my goal even if that means I’m on autopilot 90% of the time. It’s much better than it was though. That’ll continue… I see the evidence of that. I hope you do too.

2 thoughts on “How’s that working for you…?”

  1. Thank you for sharing your healing process with us, praying that you become a stronger woman & mother everyday.

    In #3 you mentioned “TMI” answers. Just know that however YOU decide to answer INVASIVE questions is not oversharing, you are speaking YOUR truth. For instance, as a 40-something woman I always get asked, “How many ‘kids’ do you have?”. Whatever my mood dictates is the answer:


    “None, I got raped & had to have a hysterectomy.”

    “None, but I raised my siblings, so yeah.”

    It would be nice if people used tact when speaking to women about their reproductive systems, but I say when they ask INVASIVE questions, expect matter-of-fact answers. I don’t ask women “how far along” they are, nor do I ask about children unless they offer that information first, simply because I don’t want to risk hurting anyone.

    Speak YOUR truth in whichever words work at the moment, please don’t allow yourself to feel judged by people.

    1. Always speak the truth and I certainly do not let the discomfort of others define what I say and when. I think it’s awesome that you speak your truth as well.

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