I don’t know about y’all but I usually love the holidays. I love the great food, the family time, and the general feeling of happiness that seems to be in the air. This holiday season is a bit different though. We expected to have our infant daughters with us during Thanksgiving dinner and for Christmas. We planned to stay the night at my mom’s house with our girls so we could all wake up Christmas morning together as a family… but none of that is happening. Sure we could still sleep over but part of the appeal was to wake up w/ the girls and they’re not here. Everyone would get to meet them for the first time at dinner next Thursday. June 2017 put an end to that dream for this year.
So now, we have to figure out how to handle that or we just simply have to exist in the way we have every year previously. I’ve got to admit that though those years were good, they just aren’t what I wanted for this year but that’s the reality. My goal is to try and not have this year end as crappy as it was over the summer so I came up with a little list for myself (and for you) to help get us through.
Set an intention for each holiday
- Be clear with yourself. Ask yourself how you want that day to go, what do you need from people around you and what are you determined to have happen. It’s easy to get in a funk and also to make that funky thinking become a self-fulfilling prophecy so work as hard as you can to combat that by setting an intention for yourself and working hard to stick to it. You may surprise yourself.
Do something to honor your baby(ies) in-house
- Light a candle, do a brief meditation before people arrive, put up a picture, take some time to talk to your baby(ies). Just because they’re not physically there doesn’t mean you have to ignore that they existed. They are part of you and everything you do.
Say a prayer for your little one(s) before you eat
- When folx are giving thanks or just sending out positive thoughts into the universe, say a little something for your little one’s also. You can do this out loud or in your head, whatever works for you at the time.
Journal your feelings (preferably video journal)
- I say video journal because you can look back at it and actually see yourself. Hearing the tone of your voice and seeing all that you’ve come through can be very cathartic.
Laugh with friends & family
- Laughter is the best medicine. Go with that.
Do something physical that makes you break a sweat
- Breaking a sweat does your body good and it releases all those feel good hormones that your body craves. How you break a sweat is up to you 😉 but just do it!
Play with a child & let their light fill you with love
- Experiencing something through the eyes of a child is one of the greatest gifts. Lose yourself for a few minutes in play. You’ll make their day and they’ll make yours.
Overall, surround yourself with loved ones. Family, friends, cuddle-buddies, friends w/ benefits, acquaintances, etc. to meet your needs. Get your beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes and enjoy. It can be a tough time but it doesn’t always have to be. Always remember, “no one is in charge of your happiness, except you!”