black angel moms, grief & loss, Poetry, Uncategorized

A Different Kind of Mother

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I’m a different kinda mother

The kind who most people overlook

The kind who will never get to see her babies looking back at her

The kind who never got to feel her growing body house her precious gifts til ready for the world.

 

I’m a different kinda mother.

The kind who had to use doctors and medications where nature failed.

The kind who had to plan out every step at every moment just for a possibility

The kind who heard “no” and “negative”  until a “positive”  and then an “I’m sorry” .

 

I’m a different kinda mother…

The kind who doesn’t have a baby’s father or husband

The kind with a wife or a non-binary partner who can’t provide genetics but gives all the same love

The kind who sits with the fact that we can’t make a baby together but we can make a baby, together

 

I’m a different kinda mother

The kind whose babies were too sweet and too precious to stay

The kind who has to say hello and then goodbye in a matter of hours

The kind who has an altar commemorating their lives.

 

I’m a different kinda mother

The kind who knows a mother’s love but has no place to physically put it

The kind who knows a mother’s pain but has no babies to validate it

They kind who knows a mother’s fight but lost still

 

I’m a different kinda mother

The kind who feels part of yet apart from the prestigious club

The kind who has a piece of their heart outside their body but no longer beating

The kind who knows a yearning like no other but can’t change the past.

 

I’m a different kinda mother

But I’m still a mother

I still created lives inside myself

I still nourished them until the universe called for them in a different way

I still pushed my babies through and out and into my waiting arms

I still named them and loved on them more than I ever thought possible

I’m a different kinda mother but I’m still a mother

A creator of life and a manifestation of love eternal

The power of the universe lives within me.

2 thoughts on “A Different Kind of Mother”

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