There are any different ways to honor your little one that can help with your healing process. If you’re a person that just wants to move on and not think about the baby you lost, this post isn’t for you. But, if you are working through your healing and just feel like you need to do something to acknowledge and validate your angel, see these options below:
- Consider creating an altar – make a space in your home where you can put up things that remind you of your little one. This could be a picture, their urn, a toy you bought for them, an ultrasound photo, whatever. Just make it a nice space where you can go to connect with them.
- Make a garden – if you have space in a backyard or front yard, dedicate a space to your baby. You can use plants or even make a rock garden where you can write loving messages on the rocks. Again, it’s about creating a space where you can go to remember them, honor them and feel closer to their spirit.
- Turn their crib into a bench – I’ve seen this done in a few different places and think it’s a wonderful idea. It’s hard to see a crib intended for a baby you may never have gotten to bring home. Turn it into a memorial bench and put it in a garden or near an altar you’ve created in your home so you can sit and be with you baby.
- Put some of their ashes in a plant or plants around your house – you can then nurture and watch that plan grow while you baby is literally part of that life. There’s something very beautiful about that to me… I want to be cremated when I pass but I am starting to give some thought to the tree pod idea where your body helps to fertilize the tree which ultimately helps the planet. It’s kind of amazing.
- Get a tattoo – if you’re into body art, this is a great route to take. My wife and I have tattoos in honor of our girls. They aren’t matching tattoos but they are meaningful to both of us in the designs we chose. Work with a tattoo artist, draw something up or just get names, dates, footprints, etc to memorialize your baby. For us, well for me, it was incredibly cathartic to feel the pain of the tattoo but know that it was for them. It’s nowhere near as painful as birth or contractions but I felt extremely connected to Jora & Aviva when I got my tat.
- Donate in their honor – a friend of ours donated to the Arbor Day Foundation and had 10 trees planted in honor of our girls. The gesture was so beautiful, it immediately made me cry. The idea that extra life is given to this planet in their honor was just more than I could bare. So find a charity that you believe in or a cause that’s close to your heart and donate. A twist on this would be creating some kind of foundation or scholarship in their honor as well. It makes you feel good and it’s a way to help your child(ren) live on in the lives of others.
- Develop a ritual – whether you do this ritual on the anniversary of their birth, their death, their due date or at the time of their birth every week (which is what we do), do something in honor of your baby. Light candles, pour libations, meditate, spend some time talking to them, say a special prayer, take a walk, etc. Find something that speaks to your soul and feels like it brings you close to your little one’s energy and do that thing. Be consistent, set an alarm if you need to. Just make sure you do it. The repetition is part of the healing and the commitment to completing it, honors their memory and keeps them as a steady part of your life.
These can also be applied to other lost loved one so feel free to try some. If you have other rituals you do, post them below. Have you tried any of these? If so, how’s it working for you? Comment below. <3